Sunday, March 26, 2017

Bad Mommy Blogger

So it's been well over a year since I've updated my blog and I just can not fucking believe it man! Wow.

This was not my intention when I started my "Mom Blog" but low and behold, I just can't keep up with this online social media life. 

Bad Mommy blogger. 

I had been keeping a hand written journal of my future blog posts but that ended the beginning of this year. All I have is a few chicken scratches of how my day went in my Llewellyn's Witches' datebook. Highlighter colored in smiley faces on the good days and frowns on the bad ones...

Having two children in 22 months is no joke and heck, I still can't believe I've done just that. Crazy mama I am! Hoping things will get a little less hectic around here in a few months, maybe so maybe not. Looking forward to catching up with my world. So far I am totally lost in a multi-kid world & will more then likely be here for a while.

Monday, November 23, 2015

11 Year Anniversary

Can't believe it's been 11 years since Jason & I have started dating. Here's a super RARE picture of us wearing our boring white drywall work hoodies at the Bowler the first night we started going out. 

First date 2004

We've definitely brightened up each others lives!

Got some rad flowers and my favorite Carol Widmans dark chocolate raspberry jelly flavored sticks along with some delish coconut candies I'd never tried before & of course some well needed champagne! Can you say this mama is SPOLIED?

Silas has gotten a wee bit easier to care for but still is hungry all the time it seems like. Had an up the back poopy diaper blowout, got pissed on & spit up on tons so I've officially been accepted into motherhood properly.

awww holding his paci already!

 Lucky to get one good scrub down shower in a week these days, so that's weird. Most of my day consists of walking around with only a sports bra & skirt/dress on due to constant feedings & pumping sessions. I need to get in the habit of closing the curtains more...bummer.  

Friday, November 13, 2015

Baby's First Doctor Appointment

Silas is 9 days old & got his first checkup today!
It's also Friday the 13th....

Grandma & Grandpa S. stopped by to visit us since they live out of town and had an appointment in town themselves. For some reason Silas was all perfect and sleeping for them after Daddy & I have been having one hell of a stressful & sleepless week so far, go figure! 


His checkup went awesome and we were curious if he'd gained or lost weight. Born at 9 lbs 6 oz and now he weighs 9 lbs 11oz, what a healthy lil' man! Ended the Dr. visit by taking a crap in the room with the Dr. there, oh Silas lol. Since he is doing so good we get to skip his 2 month appointment in December and come back in January 2016.

First Dr. trip!

All an all a wonderful day.
Will I get some sleep tonight?
Is the ultimate question tho...

Monday, November 9, 2015

Blood Pressure Check

No problems huh?!
Forget that, I was wrong.

Sunday & today were an absolute DRAIN! A 20 year gap between having babies and knowing how to care for them physically & emotionally is not like riding a bike, my bad. Practice is needed when you go this long, in my experience so far. The crying, the lack of sleep, the 24/7 nursing & pumping & the diaper changing, all while I'm still bleeding like crazy from the delivery. It's all come back to me now. The constant need from your newborn is no joke. My old brain isn't use to the high pitched cries of a baby anymore an a massive headache has formed. Breastfeeding has turned into a never-ending battle. I feel like Silas isn't getting enough food to peacefully get him full & sleepy. The whole house is suffering from his lack of sleep, even the cats!

To top these first few days of new parenting off I had to stop in the clinic this evening and get my blood pressure checked. Was totally freaking out that it would be sky high due to all the stress I've been enduring at home but luckily it was pretty good. Yeaaaah! Wasn't looking forward to having to get on blood pressure pills at my age. I got enough issues lol.

It's been worth the suffering though for Silas is super snuggly and amazing to stare at! Oh, and I finally got a well needed shower...

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Day 4 after Birth

Going home today!
Silas's test results are negative so we'll finally be able to pack up and go home...this evening anyway. My blood pressure is still super high but thankfully I'm getting discharged as well.

No more washing hands a zillion times a day to see my baby, 
surely won't be missing that.

Wee one has to do a car seat check which takes 2 hours or so, dang. Guess they strap him in and make sure he can breath the whole time in the seat. Then we have a diaper changing & bathing session after. It's been a while since I've done either so it's just as new to me as it is to Jason. HAD to rest in bed a ton today which was a pain in the ass but gotta listen to the DR. & nurses I suppose so I can get out of here right? Finally got some uninterrupted sleep, ate good and was up and about with little pain ready to hit the road, patiently waiting forever...then once it finally happened it took literally a minute. Grrrrrrr. 

Here's baby Silas all ready to experience the outside world!

The abnormally beautiful day here in Fargo in November made me appreciate the moment even more! Once we got home & brought Silas in our 4 farm rescue cats were totally freaking out! When Silas cried our oldest cat, Marley, went pSyChO and beat up on our youngest yet largest cat, Specks, for no reason what so ever. It was crazy. Guess the new baby was pissing her off or she thought Specks was making that awful noise. She's such a bully. Freakin' cats! This happened a few more times that night until Marley figured out the new little addition to our family was the one causing all the ruckus. Our other two cats, Smokey & Miss Kitty, hid in the bedroom the rest of the night. 

Other then that we had a super good first night home. I actually got some sleep for Silas slept wonderfully & cried very little. "I got this, no problem" I thought... "This parenting stuffs like riding a bike"

Don't Worry Be Happy now...

Mama & baby

Daddy & baby

Friday, November 6, 2015

Day 3 after Birth

My hands and arms are mega dry due to all the 2 minute hand washing that's necessary to go into the NICU. Swear I've washed 20+ times today. 

Silas is doing super an I've gotten a wee bit better at breastfeeding. 
Wee bit better...wee bit.

Starting to LOVE the room service here and my hunger has returned while the food is finally staying in my belly happily now! Yeahhhhhhh. Hurts to walk around but it is getting easier. All these walks to & from the NICU are helping even though they are painful!

All day long I have been dealing with: 

-blood pressure checks (which have been sky high) 
-another damn blood draw for whatever reason I have no clue 
-feeding sessions at the NICU
-pumping (got an awesomely cute lil' breast pump finally) 
-waiting for room service
-bloody diaper pad changes (yes, for me)
-and TRYING to catch a few zzzzz's in between

It's been exhausting!

Honestly have gotten around 5 hours total of sleep these past 3 days here.
No showers & I'm going a bit cRaZy.

To top it off my freaking hospital bed is still so very loud all day and all night long. Ahhrhrhrgggh. When I can get a lil' nap it wakes me up. !@#$%^&

FU bed
Today Silas got circumcised and that went very good, he's such a lil' trooper! Disappointingly, we won't have any test results back until tomorrow so he has to stay overnight again in the NICU :( Due to my high blood pressure readings I as well will be staying, which works out I guess but it would be nice to go home. 

I'm prepared for another loooong night of NICU feedings, loud bed noises, nurse visits, pumping and quick naps perhaps. No wonder why my blood pressure is through the roof! Doohhh

"There's no place like home"
click (a noise from my bed)
 "There's no place like home"
 "There's no place like home"

ahhh damn didn't work, I'm still in the hospital....

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Day 2 after Birth

To sum this post wasn't much fun most of the day.

Such a stressful morning dealing with no sleep and the aftermath of a shitty night. The apple & cliff bar I ate earlier flew through me like nothing so eating breakfast isn't gonna happen now. No fricken way. Finally getting a hang of changing the massive diaper pad & all the icky fun stuff you need to do to your poor lady part. I clearly remember this fricken BS from my first birth experience. Hated it then and hate it now & can't wait to deal with this joy for weeks...

In the late afternoon I was feeling sort of alright to possibly eat. I ordered room service to start gaining back some strength so I could pay my first visit to Silas in the NICU. Was feeling way better by the evening and finally got to spend time with my adorable lil' man and give breast feeding another try. Our first mini trial after he was born was a success so I was thinking this would be no problem from here on, but that was a lie. He managed to suckle a little here and there every time I came back to feed him but yea...gonna need some practice with this breastfeeding indeed. I formula fed my first son back in 1995 so this is a very new experience for me! Since I couldn't be with Silas that first night I had to start manually expressing my breast milk to get the colostrum and bring what I could with me to the NICU. It was super weird and what they expected me to do with a spoon to get it in the container was ridiculously impossible but I managed to get something and eventually it got kinda easy. Of course everyone on staff happened to walk in every damn time I took a tit out to do this. deeerrrrrrr 

That night Grandma & Grandpa M. came to pay a visit and had to lather up to see Silas in the NICU. They brought a cute flower arrangement along with a fluffy white teddy bear, so adorable! Think I'm gonna use it in his monthly photos to capture how fast he will grow the first year. Awwwww pinterest ideas make me happily wanna puke rainbows. The flowers which were daisies (my fave) were in a baby bottle and made my room smell awesome! Wasn't sure if we could take pics in the NICU so sadly I didn't get any pics with my Dad & baby Silas. Dammit, bummed about that.

The rest of the night was back & forth from NICU and our room for feedings. Tiring to say the least but seeing Silas was blissful. Jason eventually went home to tend to the kitties and gather some goods for the next day. I got very little sleep but managed to get my hunger back and scarfed down bananas and pumpkin bars all night between NICU feeding trips, blood pressure checks, blood draws & housekeeping coming in and out my room during the day and some of the night. It's just not possible to get sleep with all that going on around you. To top it off when I did get to lay down for a short nap my fuckin' bed was noisy as hell keeping me awake. 

Hope we'll get Silas's test results and get to leave tomorrow. I so miss being home in my quiet bed with no nurses or staff around to poke & prod at me lol. Thanks for helping but me go home now yes please. To make things better Jason's parents sent a box of chocolates and a balloon to our room tonight. Sooo yummy and kind! I might share...or not. Hey, I'm trying to regain my strength and need chocolate OK.

I didn't share.